Go Figure

As a first time mom, I had all the same worries that any other first time mom has. Will I be able to tell what my child needs and when? Will my child be healthy? Will I be comfortable nursing in public? Will I ever be able to get back to that pre-mom shape??? My head flooded with questions that multiplied by the hour. After two and a half years, I feel confident in my ability to know what my child needs and when she needs it. We survived nursing and it was almost a breeze. No, my child is not completely healthy with the multiple bouts of ear infections she has had to deal with. But, as these issues arise, my husband and I are able to conquer each task and are proudly raising a very happy, outgoing and smart little girl. It is the last question of getting back my figure that seems to have gone unanswered.

As I think back to what my figure was in high school, when my (high-school sweetheart) now husband and I first met, I wonder why I hadn’t relished in the days of jumping, flexibility and eating anything without gaining an ounce. With the new metabolism that graciously protrudes itself around my mid-section; I can’t help but feel that those skinny days were just a dream. Of course, I have the pictures on my fridge and my husbands’ memory of cheerleader skirts and skinny legs to remind me that, no, in fact, I have gained quite a bit of weight. And while I have tried many diets, I quit drinking soda pop, and I exercise during my only hour to myself most days, the weight seems to cling to me as much as my daughter does when she has a high fever and an ear infection.

Why can’t I lose this? I have no idea. So, this is what I propose…A new way of looking at what I have “gained”.

~ I have gained a wonderful daughter who looks more and more like me everyday and who, for the moment, loves her mom terribly and wants to do everything she does. I know I’ll miss these days when they go.
~ I have gained the admiration of my husband who does remember to tell me what a great mom I am when I tuck in our little girl in the middle of the night and read “Good Night Moon” for about the millionth time.
~ I have also gained admiration for my husband who, before our daughter was born, would not dance in front of anyone without a nice amount of alcohol in his system. Now they constantly entertain me with their many new dance styles. Let’s hope these days last as long as possible.
~ I have gained a sense of pride at how happy out little family is and I wonder in amazement what Samantha will say and do next.
~ I have gained patience that I never knew was possible. Food dumped on the carpet…no problem…just get the vacuum. Crayon pictures on the wall…well, I guess we did need a little redecorating.
~ I have gained a new kind of love that every new mother gains. It’s not the kind of love you have for your husband, your parents or your siblings. It’s a protective kind of love where you would do anything to keep this little person happy, safe and healthy. This came only with a new addition to our family.

So, while I may have gained a little around the middle, I have also gained many wonderful emotions and memories that take my mind away from the fact that my stomach is now and forever lined with shiny stretch marks. To that, I say…”Go Figure?!”